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Problems might last into early adulthood, study suggests

Source: Harsh Parenting May Harm a Child’s Physical Health

Harsh parenting may leave more than psychological scars, it might also leave lasting physical problems — such as obesity — even into young adulthood, new research suggests.

And having one kind, caring parent doesn’t seem to counteract the effects of the harsh parent.

“Harshness, as we measured it, is always bad for kids. But it is particularly bad if the adolescent perceives high levels of warmth and support from the other parent,” said study lead author Thomas Schofield.

The researchers defined “harsh” parenting as angry, hostile and antisocial.

Until now, “we did not know if parenting that was harsh — while not falling into the category of abuse — could predict physical health,” said Schofield, an assistant professor of human development and family studies at Iowa State University.

Why kids today are out of shape, disrespectful – and in charge

Dr. Leonard Sax has been a family physician and psychologist for 27 years, conducting workshops around the world for parents, teachers, social workers, counselors, school psychologists and juvenile justice professionals.

Source: Why kids today are out of shape, disrespectful – and in charge

The Associated Press: What exactly do you mean by a collapse of parenting?

Sax: I wrote about an office visit with a 10-year-old boy who is sitting and playing a game on his mobile phone, ignoring me and his mom as I’m talking with his mom about his stomachache. And his mom is describing his stomachache and the boy says, ‘Shut up, mom, you don’t know what you’re talking about.’ And he laughs.

That would have been very unusual in 1990 or 2000. It is now common: children, girls and boys, being disrespectful to parents, being disrespectful to one another, being disrespectful to themselves, verbally and otherwise. The mother did nothing, just looked a little embarrassed. The culture has changed in a profound way in a short period of time in ways that have really harmed kids.

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In their book, “No Drama Discipline,” mental health experts, Drs. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, describe how the brain works, especially when kids feel intense emotions. They emphasize three things to keep in mind when your child is having a difficult time.

Source: Thoughtful Parenting: Remembering brain development during meltdowns

Did you know the human brain grows through childhood and into a person’s 20s? When your child is having a hard time, remember that his brain is still growing and he’s not able to think as logically or behave as kindly as we would hope he would. With your help, he’ll learn how to manage his emotions and make logical decisions, but it will take some time.

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Positive Parents: Always a Bundle of Joy.

The majority of “problems” we have with our young children are due to us attributing a negative intent to their actions. We perceive that they are manipulating us through tantrums. What if, instead, we perceive they are overwhelmed with emotions and need comforting? We perceive that they are testing our authority. What if, instead, we perceive that they are attempting to get a need met in the only way they know how? What if we perceive that they are developing autonomy instead of defying us? What if we can let go of negative perceptions and stop attributing negative intentions on their behavior? Dr. Bailey says a very powerful statement: 

By attributing negative motives to him, you highlight character flaws that he, in turn, incorporates into his self-concept.